What I did on summer vacation

 If I had any followers, they may ask where I have been. Well, I have been out enjoying life! I have been running, I had a birthday, I went tubing on the James River and I have spent some quality time with my dog. The summer is nearly over so let's recap, shall we?

 Earlier in the summer my nephew came to visit. This kid is amazing! Of course he is, he is half my sister and she totally rocks! Anyway, I had him for a weekend. He is the same age as my youngest son. Some of my best memories as a kid are hanging out with my cousins and I hope our boys have these, too.  We played mini-golf, went out for dinner, and went to Belle Isle. If you ever visit Richmond, or have visitors if you're a Richmonder, Belle Isle always impresses. I may have had as much fun watching them as they had playing.

 Of course, I have done some running! I have been running anywhere between 3 and 5 miles every other day or so. I feel like I am getting stronger, although most of the time I am not feeling great during the run. Like, I haven't quite found my mojo. Oh well, I will keep trying! The good news is it's pain free. I truly believe I have beat this stress fracture thing. I am taking it nice and easy. I have not signed up for any races. I don't try tempo runs. I just keep it at a comfortable pace. Although Richmond does have a lot of hills! I am running different routes to keep it interesting. I am just enjoying the fact that I can run. I wish I had more friends to run with, though. I also have discovered running without music. I feel like I run more clear headed without it. I concentrate more on my breath, my feet, and myself. I got a Nike Sports Watch for my birthday. When I wear it I feel all "official" and serious.

 Speaking of my birthday, I turned 34 this year. Just typing it makes me feel old. But, my husband LOVES me, and made my birthday special! We went to my favorite restaurant, Strawberry Street Cafe, and I had the Chicken Marsala. Now, I have gone about 80% vegetarian. I only eat poultry and fish. I never eat beef or pork. I try NOT to eat poultry. If there is a fish option I take it. But the Chicken Marsala at this restaurant is like heaven on a plate! Oh so good!

 So, I mentioned I went tubing on the James River (aka The Rivah to the locals). We got a Groupon for a guided tubing river tour through River City Rafting. Me and a girlfriend from work decided that we needed some adventure. I brought hubby and my youngest son, and she brought her daughter, niece and her daughter's friend. We had SO MUCH FUN! I have a true phobia of being in my bathing suit in any public place, especially around friends. But, once we got out there, Woo Hoo! We went over rapids, got stuck on rocks, and floated for hours! There was a group of about 20, all shapes, sizes, ages, and genders, but when one tuber needed help the next tuber that floated by was there with an out -stretched hand to save the day! I hope we can do it again every summer.

 If you know me, (and you probably don't) you know that animal rescue is a cause near and dear to my heart. I donate to different local organizations, and volunteer my time to those I can. I have spent some of my time this summer doing just that. My dogs are rescues. Both were found abandoned as puppies and are now part of my family. Especially precious to me are pit bulls, as I feel they are misunderstood and judged unfairly based on fear and the actions of the minority. My dog Tori is my best friend. She is also very high energy and requires a lot of time and exercise. I have spent many evenings walking her and sometimes in the cooler weather running her, too. Today is part of Labor Day weekend and I took her out to the local little league fields to get some exercise (her not me, I ran 4.8 sweaty miles this morning). She met some kids and some grown ups. Most people are very impressed by her manners and affection. I hope her random meetings change a few minds about the stereotypical "pit bull".

And that is what I did on my summer vacation (between work and family duties) . What did you do on yours? I love the fall! The cooler air, the leaves, the kids going back to school. What season do you like best? Oh yeah, and if you read this blog, follow me okay?

20.62 miles later...

 So, in the last 5 weeks I have run 20.62 miles. This used to be a low mileage week for me! No matter, it is RUNNING. The first few runs were tender in the pelvic region. The fracture site ached. I ended up taking 2-3 days off between each run. The last two weeks have been much, much better. I can run just over 3 miles in just over 30 minutes. Sometimes it feels fast! Other times it feels tedious and boring. The heat is a new monster for me, as I was doing most of my running in the fall and winter. After each run, I stretch and feel radiant!
 I did have a gait analysis done on Wednesday at Endorphin Fitness with Kyle Pawlaczyk. I attended a Run Technique clinic he hosted a few weeks before my injury. Both experiences were quite enlightening. Here are the highlights from the gait analysis:
"You do a number of things very well when you run: you have good knee drive, good posture, normal footstrike, and good recovery. Basically, you did a good job of applying everything we covered in the running clinic a while back. You must have been listening closely:)"
 That was the good news. I was very nervous. First of all, I was running on a treadmill. I almost never run on a treadmill and when I do I find myself shuffling and running into the handrails often. Awkward! Having a camera focused on me was also a bit intimidating. Having to watch myself on video was pretty embarrassing, too. I learned just by watching that my rear end is big and bouncy. Not pretty. I also do something weird with my head that makes me appear to have no chin.

Sigh...but I digress...
"-With two stress fractures in your past and diagnosed osteopenia, I'd strongly recommend supplementing Calcium somehow. Of course, work on getting sufficient Calcium from your diet as well."
 I agree with this. Problem is that all the blood work and in particular the 24 hour urine test all came back spectacular. I feel I eat very nutritiously and include dairy consistently. The doctor felt that I never developed the density as opposed to I have already started losing it. You can only absorb so much calcium anyway. Oh well, maybe I should take a supplement and stop being stubborn.
"-Make good training decisions. This is the big one. Running injuries in general (and stress fractures in particular) tend to result from sudden increases in mileage and/or intensity. My favorite guideline for increasing running volume is the "10% rule," which states that you should not increase overall running mileage more than 10% from week-to-week."
 Yes! This exactly! I honestly feel this is the number one contributor to my fracture. I have a plan that the Sports Medicine Orthopedist gave me, and when that is completed Kyle will help me build a training schedule. All good here. 
"-Consider running in a more supportive shoe."
 Kyle wasn't crazy about my current shoe choice. My left leg buckles at the knee and the left foot pronates slightly. I was wearing the Brooks PureFlows. He gave me a recommendation for a shoe I will not mention. I won't mention it because I tried it on and I did not like it. At all. It is from my favorite brand but not for me. I tried on 5 different products and settled on PureCadence. So far so good!
"-Work on stabilizing that left hip with the exercises we did yesterday. On top of that, strengthening all of the muscles around the hip joint would be a good idea. This page on the Runner's World website shows a couple good exercises for the hip flexor and abductor."
 The coach that did my analysis is a professional triathlete. He started his career with running and has experience with injury. He helps athletes (and wanna be athletes like me!) of all levels. Overall, I left the analysis feeling like I learned a lot. I also felt like I got enough positive feedback that I didn't feel like a fool. Did he bolster my ego to gain my confidence? Maybe, but I'll take it!
 Now I need to decide if I really want to start training for a race. I had dinner with a training buddy this week and we made a pact to start running together again. She got a new beau and fell off the running wagon right around the same time that I fractured my pelvis. I am hoping we can begin again together. She really wants to run the Richmond Half Marathon in November. I wanted to as well, but I am not sure if that is too much too soon? Should I not train for a race and just run for the joy of running for a while? Should I find a 5k, 8k or a 10k to keep me motivated? Anyone have an opinion?

Happy Anniversary!

 I want to run. I want to run right now. Right now! But, I can't. I ran yesterday. It felt so good. We have been suffering through a heat wave and last night it broke. It was cool and breezy and it started to rain. I didn't use my iPod to time it. I just put on my shoes and went. I stopped and walked every few minutes. It never hurt. This was the first run in which I haven't felt any discomfort. I am not supposed to run back to back days. I don't want to jinx it, so I am NOT going to run. Even if the weather is still good and there is a light cool rain falling. Oooh I love running in the rain! No no! Let's discuss something else...
 Last week was my 4 year wedding anniversary. I planned a romantic weekend for my husband Michael and I. Friday was our actual anniversary, so I scheduled an appointment for a couples' massage. The ladies at the studio were attentive and thorough. My husband had never had a massage before and he was nervous. It's funny, I am super self conscious about my body 99% of the time, but tell me I am getting a massage and I am in my undies in 10 seconds flat! Yet, Michael, who is borderline cocky, was suddenly worried about being judged. It probably didn't help that I didn't tell him where we were going until a few minutes before we pulled up to the building! Anyway, after a lovely foot bath and some coaxing he fully enjoyed the pampering.

 After the massages, we came home to get changed to go out for dinner, and the gourmet cupcakes I ordered had arrived! So, pretty and yummy! They were designed to look like my wedding cake. I think the baker did a great job! The last photo in the collage is my actual wedding cake.

 We went to Maggiano's for dinner, as that is where our dinner reception was after the wedding ceremony at Maymont. We only had about 40 guests so both venues were lovely and intimate. Not to mention, I love Maymont. I could spend every weekend there walking through the gardens. Anyway, our dinner of course was divine! The following night we saw Rob Schneider perform stand up comedy at The Funny Bone. So funny! Again, Michael loves that place. Sunday we just relaxed and went to Bikram yoga to detox from all the wine, beer, and rich foods we indulged in. I tried to make the weekend as romantic and sentimental as possible. I truly love my husband. He puts up with a lot of craziness from me and he deserves some love and recognition.
 He sent me flowers and paid for me to get my tattoo finished. Yes, my tattoo! I just got it done two days ago so it looks a little icky as it's healing so I will post about that later! We had a fantastic few days and we have been very lovey-dovey ever since. Sometimes, it takes a little nudge to remind you what life is all about. Our anniversary was that nudge. We got to relax, enjoy some food, and laugh our heads off!  Tomorrow, I will run. Tonight, now that I think about it, I want to take a walk with Michael and then cuddle with him for a bit.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled program...

 Or at least a program that includes running! Woo hoo! Okay I won't get too far ahead and say it's really "running"; it's a walk/run program. Basically, I get to build up time and intervals over a 6 week period until I can keep running for 10 minutes straight. I asked my doctor if it were even feasible for me to consider training for the Anthem Richmond Half Marathon in November and he said yes. Well, yes as long as the walk/run program is successful. I have to believe that it will be successful, which means that I will have to do everything in my power to ensure my success. So I have to be sure I am taking my time, following the program, and not pushing beyond my comfort zone. That mindset is tough for me. That mindset is NOT what I had when I pushed myself to my literal breaking point.

 I have no desire to be sidelined for another 3+ months. The mental and physical anguish of being unable to do something I love is still painfully fresh in my mind. I still look at other runners with more than a hint of jealousy. My friends' posts of their long runs, or even daily runs, still pluck my nerves. Yes, I know it's not their fault I was injured. But the green eyed monster is never rational! I have to tell myself that this 12 minutes of running combined with 12 minutes of walking is 12 minutes more than I was capable of a month ago. I tell myself that I am lucky to be doing this at all.  But the other less forgiving part of me repeats, "I am not an impostor, I am not an impostor" in my head every time I stop running for the walk portion. Why am I so hard on myself?
  In case anyone stumbles across this blog looking for information on pelvic stress fractures, I want to tell you a little about the return to running plan. First, there are stages and rules of progression. Each stage should last one week. I can increase the total time running by increasing the intervals by one each time I run. No back to back days. It's broken up into Stages 1-3 and Stages 4-8. Stage 1-3 are a steady walk and a very easy run focusing on form, increasing in intervals three times per week. My doctor started me at Stage 3.

• Stage 1: 3 min walk/1 min run x5 (then x6, x7, etc)
• Stage 2: 2 min walk/1 min run 
• Stage 3: 2 min walk/2 min run

 Stages 4-8 are steady jogging and walking with a good gait and arm swing. This should be done no more than 4 times per week.

• Stage 4: 4 min run/1 min walk x5 (then 6, x7, etc)
• Stage 5: 6 min run/1 min walk
• Stage 6: 7 min run/1 min walk
• Stage 7: 8 min run/1 min walk
• Stage 8: 9 min run/1 min walk

 The program recommends that I should use the 8/1 or 9/1 to build to the desired time (suggested 45-60 mins) using a slow to steady pace. After this, it has suggestions on how to start training for races, speed, and intensity. I will cross that bridge when I get to it. Right now, I just want to continue to run pain free! My legs and lungs seem to remember the process for the most part. Even though I have been using the elliptical, only running is running, and the body is a bit rusty. I managed to only gain 2lbs, but I lost some fitness. I did complete 3 days of running this week. I did 5, 5, and 6 interval repeats. I may do 7 intervals before I move to Stage 4. I have to learn to pace myself. I find myself trying to go faster and have to put on the brakes.

    Once I get through the first few stages, I will decide if the Richmond Half is the right race or if I need to look for something less ambitious. I have never run a 1/2 so it may be too challenging. Or just too much too soon. Maybe I should find an 8k or a 10k? I am open to suggestions! All I do know for sure is that I am back on the road and I plan on staying the course!

Body and Mind

 A few Saturdays ago I woke up feeling good. So good that I thought I could run. But as the day went on I unconvinced myself of that. It had been 12 weeks since I fractured my pelvis and 7 weeks since I had run. I have to wait just a few more weeks I told myself. So, I rested some more. Sunday, I woke up and ate a banana and some peanut butter. I drank some water and found my ipod. I put on my running shoes and told hubby I was going for a walk. A half mile down the road, I tried to run. A few minutes (okay like 2 minutes) in I felt a familiar ache. I walked again, and tried to run again. I did this a few times before I gave up. I made it about 2.5 miles altogether. Lame, I thought. It has now been 14 weeks since the fracture and 9 weeks since I have really run. I have tried this a total of three times. Each time I get the same result.

 Speaking of results, part of my doctor's orders were to get a bone density, or DEXA scan (learn more here: http://www.radiologyinfo.org/en/info.cfm?pg=dexa). Well, the scan came back slightly abnormal. I will know the full results after my consultation on Monday. Due to the lower than normal bone density results, the doctor that ran the DEXA scan requested blood work and a 24 hour urine sample. Both of those came back absolutely fine. So, I am not really sure what he is going to suggest I do. On Wednesday, I go see the Sports Medicine Orthopedist. I am hoping for an x-ray and some good news. From what I understand healed bone shows up bright and white on an x-ray. I want to hear that I am healed or almost healed. I want to hear a time frame for when I can start running again. Not running makes me feel empty. And fat. And lazy and purposeless. I know all of those words don't really describe me, but it is how I FEEL. Running gives me an incredible sense of self. Yes, I am still practicing Bikram yoga. I enjoy it very much. I also occasionally use the elliptical machine. I don't enjoy that very much. I can walk my dog through the park. This is my favorite thing and I am glad I can enjoy it again.

 What I don't want is to lose my self esteem. When I started running I was too heavy for my own comfort. During my journey I have lost about 28lbs. At 5ft 2 that is a lot of weight! Anyway, I felt sloppy and unhealthy. When I feel that way I feel like I am unattractive and I don't really like myself. So I started working on my health and my body. Now that I feel like my body has failed me, I realize that I need to work on mind. Easier said than done. This whole thing has been a crazy roller coaster ride. Is it too much to hope that this could be almost over? Is it too much to ask that life could resume as planned? I miss my running friends. I miss the roads and the trails. I miss the quiet evenings and early mornings. I even miss the ache in my legs and lungs. I have to keep pushing away the doubt that creeps into my mind and the little voice that says, "You won't run again." I also need to focus on the happy days and the positive aspects of my life of which there are many. I do need to remember that other runners have been injured and recovered. They run again. They race, and they win. I am going to be one of them, too. But first I have to heal.

And Bikram...

 In my quest to not go crazy while not running, I decided to start practicing yoga. Not regular yoga, but Bikram yoga. It's 105 degrees and for 90 minutes you put your body in 26 compromising positions. Sweat pours from your skin like water. Your heart thuds into your ears and you may get lighted-headed. Are you sold yet? But wait! There's more! I actually really liked it. I am going back tomorrow, and Wednesday.
 The point was not to go crazy, but a few months ago I would have thought that even trying Bikram was crazy. But, running made me look deep into myself. Not being able to run made me question everything that I thought I knew about myself. Yes, I love to run. Yes, it frees me. But it has also opened my eyes to all the other things that are left to be done. Without running being my go to for stress relief I can try new things. I can try yoga. I could swim. I could read and try new recipes. I could start a blog.
 So, it starts with Bikram. I was supposed to go on Saturday. I chickened out. I made excuses...I have nothing to wear, I won't feel up to dinner later, I need to drink more water first...well, you get the idea. So, Sunday, Mother's Day, rolls around and now what? I drank water all day the day before. I bought a yoga "outfit". I was still petrified. What if I couldn't do it? What if I looked fat and ridiculous? Would the others judge me? So, I waited until the last class of the day, and I got in my car and drove to the studio. In I went and then, I was at yoga! I made it through all 90 minutes. Now, I have to admit the first 20 minutes or so, I judged myself. I judged my thighs and my tummy. I judged my posture (not postures, just posture!). I compared myself to the other ladies around me on their mats. But, they weren't looking at me. They were looking in the mirror, or on the spot on the ceiling during their posture. So, I followed suit. I concentrated on the movements and my breathing. On my image, yes, but now because I wanted to see what it looked like to be in the posture. I forgot the heat, the other women, my fear. I was looking inside of myself. I was looking at the internal determination that made it possible for me to run mile after mile when I was tired. The determination that made me put on those shoes and hit the pavement again and again.
 Bikram is intense. It isn't running; only running is running. But it accomplished what it set out to be, which is another way to allow me concentrate on making myself whole. It helps me find myself, to lose myself and find myself again. It is 90 minutes of just being. It's no nine minute mile, but for now, it'll have to do.

Like a Bird

 It's funny that I would decide to start a blog about running while I cannot run. Consider this my running blog about not running.  But, I have the heart and soul of a runner. Like a bird with a broken wing, I am injured but longing to fly. I drive now on the roads where I ran (and will run again!) and realize that I just don't think anymore. Well, obviously, I think, but I don't resolve anything. I don't have ideas, or those Eureka! moments. I just trudge along and hope I make it through.
 I guess I should give you some background. When I was in my twenties I went on a health kick. I quit smoking, starting running, ate well. Boy it felt good! But through tumultuous life I lost that drive. One day about 10 months ago I opened my eyes and remembered how good, how whole, I felt when my feet pounded the pavement. So, I started my running journey anew. I ran alone at about a 12 minute mile. I ran some more. Further, longer and faster. I ran with my dog. Short runs, fast runs, hills. I ran with some friends. I signed up for some races. A 5k, a 10k, another 5k. I joined a training group of complete strangers. I was so scared! Was I fast enough? Could I run with them and not get left behind and lost? Would they laugh at my gait and huffing and puffing? I researched training...fartleks, tempo runs, and stride. I was successful in the group and made friends. I still mostly ran alone. I can run an 8 minute mile. But my good runs, my "long" runs, averaged about a nine minute mile and I was happy there. It felt good and true.
 Then, it happened during a 5k I was totally ready for. I fractured my pelvis. I didn't know it at the time. I had been racing for about 5 minutes and feeling good. All of a sudden BAM! This stabbing pressure in my...crotch?  Is that right? My what hurts? Yes, it did and I couldn't understand it. I couldn't make sense of the pain coming from there. I was thinking, "It's never hurt there before." I tried to shake it off and forget it. I managed to finish the race in just under 28 minutes. But, instead of elation I felt fear. What is this? I told my friend what I was feeling and pointed, "Here!" Aaaah, your groin! My groin, yes, I pulled my groin.
 Fast forward through a doctor visit where he confirmed a groin pull and prescribed physical therapy. He suggested a pelvic fracture, but didn't think so. Fast forward through physical therapy where they misdiagnosed a thousand things that probably caused my pulled groin. Fast forward through another doctor's appointment, an x ray, and an MRI. Fast forward through finding the fracture, a visit to an orthopedist to confirm. Now pause on me being told to rest. And continue to pause, and pause. I have been on pause for over a month.
 So, now what? So now I figure out how to heal. I figure out how to not go crazy or get fat. I start a blog where I can type my thoughts out instead of run them out. I get to prove to you, reader, and to myself, that I can overcome this. That I can become a stronger and smarter runner. I may have to start back at a 12 minute mile. I will put one foot in front of the other again and again. I will push through the fear. I will rest when my body asks me to. I will run again. I will get to that happy place, my nine minute mile.

 Until next time...